Great Expectations

I have been thinking a lot about expectations today. One of my worst personality traits is that I’m notorious for creating expectations that can’t possibly be managed in reality. I had been really looking forward to something this week and inadvertently built it up in my mind – built it up so much that when it came crashing back down to reality, I was faced with the consequences. Disappointment.

I have been trying to manage my expectations with this project and have done a pretty good job, considering my track record. However, I’ve allowed myself to get out of control again the last couple of weeks. I understand that having expectations opens the door to that sinking feeling of failure.

I also feel like a failure today because every time I feel like I’m getting better at reading other people’s signals – that blows up in my face too. As I read back that sentence to myself, it seems absurd. It would be nice not to have to read signals or build these sand castles of expectations in my mind.

I know I can’t fix this tonight…I may never be able to fix it. It is a part of me like my wrist bone or my unique laugh. But after feeling the dull ache of disappointment today, I’m determined to find a way to temper my unrealistic expectations before the year is through.

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