Calling All Angels

This has been an emotional week. I had the day from hell on Monday and I just kind of lost it on my way to class in the evening. Luckily, my mom was able to talk me down a little bit. The last two days have been better, but I ended up crying again tonight after I saw a touching profile of a young cancer patient on the nightly news. I think the stress of my program, all the homework and lessons to plan, and being on steroids for two weeks left me a bit thin-skinned.

Not to mention, I’ve been trying to get some more sleep and the last two nights I’ve woken up at 4 am for no apparent reason. As I type this, my eyes are drooping…

I don’t handle transitions well. I never have. Even as a young child I would be overcome with extreme anxiety when I was faced with any change. I’m staring down a huge transition right now. I am grieving having to leave a school that I love and I’m overwhelmed with anxiety about needing to find a job when soooo many teachers are also looking.

I have always been led to great opportunities and I have no reason to believe that this will be any different.

This afternoon, I spoke to a friend of mine on the phone. She is riddled with worry right now and I caught myself giving her advice that I needed to hear too. There is no sense making yourself sick over a fearful situation. Focusing on all that negative energy is the worst thing to do. After that conversation, I turned inward to give myself the same pep talk. Now I’m trying to surrender and put my angels on it.

I know for certain that I have a slew of angels protecting me and guiding me all the time. However, sometimes my vision gets cloudy. I think I needed to work through my own worry today by trying to help someone else.

She also helped me by reminding me that I can’t expect to be perfect and even the days where I feel like I’ve failed are opportunities for growth. The pendulum has swung both ways this week – failure and success. She helped to remind me that I’m still a student, I’m still learning.

So in the meantime, I can focus on being present and leave the rest to my army of angels.

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