Root Cause

I had a chance to work on the second lesson in Marianne Williamson’s book A Course in Weight Loss. It was very enlightening. The lesson talks about the only way to change a situation is through kindness and acceptance, not criticism and negativity. Marianne writes about how each person has various elements of their personality, just like there are various shades of the same color. We have hunter green and lime green, but we can trace those shades back to the root…back to green.

People also have different shades and our overweight or “fat” self is a part of us. Until we embrace that fat self, it will continue to get bigger in an effort to get our attention and be acknowledged. She has you write a letter from your skinny self to your fat self and then let your fat self respond with a reply.

It felt silly at first and I couldn’t imagine what I would gain from writing these letters. How very wrong I was!

I said a prayer before I began and asked that all the important stuff that needed to be acknowledged be brought to the light in these letters. I was amazed at what my different shades had to communicate. The letters are funny, sad, and gut-wrenching. They are honest and gritty, but filled with heart.

I learned that my skinny self is ready to have a life of first’s, passion and confidence. To feel at home in her skin, not at war with her body. She is strong and sassy and is ready to take the reins. She is willing to get hurt and takes full responsibility for her dreams coming true. My fat self is wise and skilled at protecting us from heartbreak. She eats the feelings that we are unwilling to express and takes the brunt of the world’s injustice because she hates to see us in pain. She knows things need to change, but she was only acting on what she thought was best for us.

These letters are a bridge between where I have been stuck and a new future on the horizon.

I have many shades. I am many selves all wrapped up in one vessel. I am strong. I am learning. I am changing.

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