Becoming Real

“Real isn’t how you’re made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up?” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

I like to use my own photography, but had nothing in my archive that would work for this post.

My self-esteem has been in the dumps these last couple of days for a handful of reasons.

I’m getting plenty of reinforcements from friends, family and the universe…it just isn’t doing much good at the moment.

I’m allowing myself the day to feel lousy and then tomorrow I have to get over it. I know this negative attitude isn’t helping anything, so that needs to go too.

I was looking for something today when I found my old copy of The Velveteen Rabbit. I think this is such a beautiful and bittersweet story. I re-read it and found it to be so profound. I loved it as a child, but the message of becoming real resonated in a new way.

Part of the issue is that I’m still avoiding things a bit, but I know it’s not the same old stuff. One element of this work on my self, is that the more epiphanies I have, the more it feels like Pandora’s box. I know this is just a part of the process, but this week it all is too much. I am still just beginning to understand shame and how it related to my experience. Two steps forward, one step back but eventually I’ll get there.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa
    Jul 17, 2011 @ 23:46:28

    Thank you for reminding me of that beautiful story, Mary! One of my favorites from childhood for sure. I do wish you all the ease of getting out of the dumps, my friend. You don’t deserve to be there! One of my favorite affirmations is, “Boundless riches freely flow into my life from expected and unexpected sources.” I like saying this as I walk. And then I like to add, “The more I have, the more I have to share.” I’d always thought of it in terms of money, until today. I think it especially applies to self-love! The more we have … the more we have to share … Love you, dear friend!


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