Trick of the Light

One thing I will say about being a teacher: time is slipping away even more than it used to. I can’t believe it’s November. I’m not sure where the days go.

Things are good. I know I am in the right place because today was a long, super busy day with an intense IEP meeting and a three-hour training after school and somehow I am still happier and more content than I have ever been. I feel very lucky that I get to work with one of my best friend (even though I don’t see her as often as you’d expect) and a handful of awesome teachers that make me laugh until I cry everyday. Especially, the other special ed teacher, I think I can handle the pressure of the job so much better because we don’t take ourselves or each other too seriously. It makes all the difference.

I am torn because I feel like I have been slacking for this project. I’m still working on myself and staying present, but haven’t had much time to work on any specific projects lately. That said, I’m still progressing in big ways.  I haven’t been this comfortable in my own skin in close to ten years. I am accepting myself and taking better care of myself than I have in a long time. I am being honest and presenting my authentic self in all situations and not censoring or hiding anymore. Again, it makes all the difference.

At the beginning of this project, I felt like I was pretending. Trying to trick myself into believing that I mattered or using all the tools in the box to keep myself in the present, but I can honestly say that now the tricks are unnecessary. I have changed. I have grown. I still daydream and think about the future or the past, but I am in the moment so much more than I ever thought possible. I am living in my body again, not just in terms of exercising more, but really living centered in my body – my bones.

Since I am less in my head and more balanced in my body, soul, heart and spirit – I am also losing weight. I haven’t been weighing myself much but my clothes are fitting looser and the people around me are noticing a difference. I know I have lost at least 15 pounds. It isn’t a ton, but it is a big step in the right direction. I am also not feeling compelled to over eat, which is such a gift. I was concerned about living alone again because this was such a big issue in the past. However, I am not finding it an issue at all. I am not eating perfect all the time, but most of the time I am making my own meals and eating healthy. I am paying attention to my actual hunger signals and not just eating out of boredom or loneliness.

I am going to brainstorm a couple of things I want to tackle before the end of the year to make sure this project ends on a successful note. I will let you know what I come up with.

Thanks for listening and following me on this journey.

Good night.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Post Calendar

November 2011
« Oct   Dec »

Blog Categories

%d bloggers like this: