Get a Do Over

Today was just one of those days where you wish there was a “Do Over” button.

I was super sick yesterday with an awful stomach bug. I was up all night on Monday and sick most of Tuesday. This morning, I woke up to bad winds, 20 degree temperatures and horrible roads. We had a staff meeting at 7:30 am, so I left at 6:35. The roads were terrible. Tons of accidents and bad visibility. I pulled into the school parking lot at 7:30 (my usual commute is 20 minutes) and I was the only car. A couple of minutes later, a few other teachers arrived, but many teachers were in accidents and didn’t arrive until 9:00 am. Needless to say, we did not have our meeting this morning.

I had my work computer and personal computer in my backpack, so I put some of my other important things in a separate bag to take to school. Of course in my rush to get out the door, I left the bag in the entry way. This normally wouldn’t be a huge deal, but today I was observed and my lesson plans were sitting at home in the entry way. I also had to scrap the lesson I had planed because students were missing due to the weather. The actual lesson wasn’t bad, but some of the students have slipped into old behavior issues and there was a lot of back and forth with one student in particular.

It was frustrating to be observed on a day when I was off my game. I felt horrible and the observation just made me feel worse. I know it is hard to impress this observer, but I am so hard on myself and hate disappointing anyone. I felt disappointed in myself. I am writing about it and getting it out, then I’ll need to try to move on.

On a happier note, the afternoon turned around when I had a great science lesson with a student. He worked hard and our experiment was a success. It helped to see his joy.

The roads home were not nearly as bad as they were this morning, thank goodness.

I want to thank my co-workers for doing their best to point out my strengths and make me feel better. It was a crappy day to be observed, but I have to suck it up and move on. I was still a good teacher today, even if it wasn’t evident to the observer.

Now I’m going to sit with my heater and try to get my mind onto something else.We don’t have special “Do Over” buttons at our disposal, but we can keep our ego in check, be kind to ourselves and try again to do better tomorrow.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa Holmes
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 08:49:50

    True and relevant. And courageous of you to speak it outloud. I know exactly what those days are like. I had one where my Whimsy City program was observed for possible funding from the city. The kids that day were out of control beyond normal levels of out of control! Needless to say, we didn’t get the grant. But I’ll bet your observer yesterday didn’t overlook ALL of your magical qualities … and your special strength and tenderness that you share with your kids. Nobody can miss that–no matter how bad of a day you’re having! 🙂 xo

    Reply

  2. Mary
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 17:23:27

    Thanks, Lisa. It helped to get it out of my head and onto the page. I am sure you do know what that feels like. Sometimes it just isn’t our day. I don’t think she really sees anyone’s good, unfortunately. Some people just seem to perceive the people around them with a negative lens…I went on a field trip today and did just fine managing unruly 5th graders so I feel a little more vindicated. This woman might never see my worth, but I know I’m doing a good job and my co-workers support me too. That’s what matters. Love you!

    Reply

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