Blinded by the Light

My Saturday has been fraught with sadness and frustration. What a great way to start a post, right?

Unfortunately, I received some very upsetting news this morning about a family member who just found out she has stage IV pancreatic cancer. She is young and has small children. She sees an oncologist on Monday, but we are all stunned with despair.

I also found out yesterday that YA author, L.K. Madigan just passed away from stage IV pancreatic cancer at the age of forty-seven. She wrote a wonderful, touching and devastating blog about it on January 12, 2011. You can read it here.

L.K. Madigan had many things she still wanted to do: trips to take, books to write, years of experiences with her husband and son. I have thought about her and her family all day today. I have thought about my cousin and her family. I have thought about myself and my own family.

I have pondered how easily I let time slip through my fingers. I have dozens of stories to write. I have people to love and spend time with. I have the opportunity to finish graduate school and become a teacher (although I’m not sure, how I’m going to pay for it…but that’s a story for another blog). Yet, I sit and do nothing, more often than I care to admit as my life rolls on by second by second.

We can’t know when our time will be up. We have to make the most of the days we have. That sounds so cliche until you realize how true it is.

I have also thought a lot today about what happens after we die. Where do we go? Do we come back? What is behind the great light in the distance…

I don’t have the answers. I have some ideas, but on a day like today you’re not sure whether any of it has merit or not. I do know that L.K. Madigan’s death and my families bad news has definitely left me shaken today.

Everything that has been piling up in my life seems all the more impermanent and important…




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