Lighten Up

I was right. Sunday was pretty bad still, but things did start to feel better on Monday. My inner critic is still coming to the surface more than I’d like, but I made a decision on Sunday that I would be finding a counselor to speak to about the things that came up last weekend. Just making that healthy choice for myself helped to lighten things for me.

I have been to counseling before but not for about 13 years. I had a friend recommend a couple of people, but I had someone in mind that had certain expertise. I did an online search and found a woman who really resonated with me, even through a web page. I contacted her and planned to speak to her on the phone tonight.

We did talk and I felt very comfortable with her. I am not quick to open up about my feelings with people I know and trust, yet alone a stranger. That sounds kind of funny, I’m sure if you have been following this blog on a regular basis but I really have to force myself to be honest about my feelings in this setting. Anyway, we spoke for a while and I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was for me to open up to her. I was honest and put my concerns out there. Maybe it was that we connected well, yet I think it also helps that I am ready to stop living in a way that doesn’t value me. There was a lot of synchronicity about this counselor and I’m excited to see where this leads.

I’m a bit nervous about paying for it, but I can submit the invoices to my insurance and she will offer me a sliding scale as well. Committing to this is also a statement about my worth. I am finally ready to work through these feelings of unworthiness and claim ownership of who I am.

Good night.

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