Seeing the Light

Today was one of those great spring days when you catch yourself enjoying your life. Those small moments where you realize that at that exact moment, you are perfectly content. In the past when this would happen, the realization would break the peaceful spell and I would go back to life as usual, but today I felt the happiness last all the rest of the afternoon.

I had class all day, but I’m learning such great stuff, it didn’t bother me. My brain hurt by the time we were dismissed, but I know that it’s just because my brain isĀ  trying to soak it all up! I know that what I’m learning will make me a much better educator.

Later, after class, I spent some time with one of my best friends and her family. I hadn’t seen her in weeks because of being sick. It was wonderful to be with her again today and to get a baby and puppy fix too.

We talked a lot about relationships and all their intricacies and complexities. We talked about another friend of ours who is in a difficult relationship. We talked about how marriage is difficult, even when you are with the right person. We talked about our siblings and mothers and fathers. We spoke of healing relationships and healing ourselves through our relationships – good ones and bad ones. We discussed how even the trying relationships are a valuable use of our time in preparing us for the next step in our journeys.

We discussed my own evolution in relation to my relationships. I have been working hard on being present and at the beginning of this project, I was still uneasy with some of the relationships in my life. For years every time I met someone, I would travel in my mind to the farthest point in the future – trying to put us into a box of my own creation. I know now that this was another attempt at self-protection and only served to keep me isolated and alone.

Now I am staying present and allowing. Allowing the natural progression to take place and appreciate it as it’s happening – not what it will be like in ten years or even thirty minutes. I’m learning to be inside my relationships right now.

My friend was pleased to hear about this development and expressed that she had been hoping I would have this shift in thinking for a long time. It felt like a confirmation that I am still on the right path with this inner journey. I’m beginning to see the light about my self and my connection to others. It’s beautiful. Like catching colorful reflections of light on a perfect day. Or understanding that being content with my life makes this day perfect.

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