Coming Out of Hiding

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Hello Present Project!

I am back 🙂

I know I have been gone for a while, but please know I have been continuing my work on this project behind closed doors all this time. I started seeing a wonderful therapist and realized that I was digging into some deep things and I needed some quiet, privacy and space to explore it.

I have made some big strides lately and although I will still be keeping boundaries around some of the work I am doing, I am ready to document my journey here in this way.

I am working on a new project for the next thirty days called a RUHCUS. This is a wonderful, life-affirming process developed by Sonya Renee Taylor, the founder of the Body is Not An Apology. Check it out, it is an awesome group and community.

The core of a RUHCUS is to shake things up in a radical way in order to heal. I’m pushing at my edges in a way that I have never done before, and although it is scary, I know in my heart that this is the perfect time for me to embrace a radical shift.

I learned in in the final months of 2012 that my body was falling apart. I ended up having an emergency colectomy on December 26th and I feel very lucky to be here. It was terribly painful in many ways, but the beauty of the experience was seeing the beautiful community of friends and family who rallied around me to help me heal. I went to this community to help support me on this new project and again am pleasantly surprised and humbled by their support and love.

I am feeling pretty powerful at the moment, however, I know that throwing myself into such radical work will bring up some tricky things. I am not looking forward to that but I’m ready to tackle what ever comes up.

I will be posting more regularly, especially through this project. Thanks for still being here. It’s nice to be back!

Hang the Stocking With Care

I ordered a bunch of Christmas presents this morning and I’m getting into the holiday spirit. Elf is on right now and that is helping with the spirit as well.

I thought I would have a lot of time to get my laundry done and write today, but sometimes life has other plans. I was glad to be a help and luckily everybody is fine.

I gave up dairy almost two weeks ago. I had a severe milk allergy as a child and over Thanksgiving break I did some research and was shocked to discover that most of the things that have ailed me since my teen years can be attributed to a milk allergy. I decided to give it a try and it really hasn’t been that tough. I miss cheese, but it was clear that milk products are like poison to my system. In 11 days my skin has cleared up, my cystic acne is gone, my dark circles have vanished, my nails no longer have ridges, my energy is up and my singing voice is clear and strong.

I have had some pretty nasty headaches as part of the detox process, but those are getting better as well. I read some pretty gross detox testimonials online and I haven’t had it as bad as some folks. Lots of congestion the first week, it was like my body was finally able to clear out all that junk. I have also lost some weight, which is a nice by-product. It’s a bit challenging to eat out. My options have shrunk, but it isn’t impossible and feeling better is worth it.

I am also planning to adopt a new dog in the next couple of weeks. She is a sweet girl who worked her way into my heart pretty quickly. My mom met her tonight and fell head over heels for her too. I think bringing her into my home and heart is a big step in the right direction to help open up my heart even more.

I have been thinking a lot about this final month of the present project. I am reading a couple more books, doing an online course on self-acceptance and I am considering subscribing to Match.com for a month. I also think I am going to continue this journey next year. I haven’t accomplished all that I hoped, but this year has been very powerful and I have changed so much for the better.

We’ll see.

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