I Wish I May, I Wish I Might

This is of my favorite mosaics near Times Square in the New York Subway. I tried my hand at mosaics a couple of years ago. I made some frames and jewelry boxes. I never attempted anything on this scale, but it was fun to take small pieces and find a way to make them into something bigger and beautiful.

I have been quiet lately for a reason.

I didn’t know how to make sense of what I have been experiencing in therapy and how to move those intense feelings into words.

This past week was especially tough. We worked our way into a  grove in the forest of my past and I am still attempting to process what we uncovered. We also discussed the idea of sacred space and erecting healthy boundaries as I make this journey.

That said, I am going to be silent for a while – at least in terms of this blog. I have been grateful to have the Present Project to document my journey back to myself and all the people who have supported me the past year and a half. Right now, I need to take a step inward and create some sacred space to help me heal.

I will plan on checking in again in a couple of months. I am conflicted about doing this because I’ve found the transparency this blog provides to be healing and effective in keeping me from isolating like I used to. However, it has become very clear as of late that I have some intensive work to do so that I can find the acceptance and healing that I seek.

I will still be blogging about writing and life at my other blog here. But for now, the Present Project will be under construction while I pursue some renovations of the soul and spirit. This blog has been worthwhile and enlightening. It helped lay the track for the journey I am embarking on in therapy. The last couple of weeks have been humbling and I know that I will not be the same when I emerge on the other side.

I will be journaling as I continue to work with my therapist and I may eventually find a way to share what I am experiencing right now. Until then, I want to thank the readers out there who have been a part of this with me. Please know that I am still working on being present, finding self acceptance and the strength to be myself completely without guilt or shame.

I will find a way to gather all the little scattered pieces of Mary and take the time to fit them back together into some thing beautiful.

Until then…

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