Welcome to the Present Project!
Today is January 1, 2011 and I am excited and a little bit scarred. I have decided to take the new year as an opportunity to create a better life for myself. I will be blogging about this year-long journey here, every Wednesday and Saturday for all of 2011. I might be posting more often as the year progresses, but you can at least count on new posts on those days!
The first course of action is committing 100% to myself. I have a couple of techniques in my back pocket that I haven’t actually used, for whatever reason. I guess they seemed to woo – woo New Agey or too simple. Whatever the reason, I will be trying them now. I will commit to working on my belief in myself and creating a life focused on the present. I am intending to incorporate various ideas, techniques and lessons into my life, splitting the year into 21 day increments (perhaps more time, based on the project). I will be reflecting about these changes and any effect they have on my life here. I will take this year and embrace practices that might improve my mind, body and spiritual connection by adding balance, acceptance and love for myself and my life.
First up, this week I will be starting fresh. I have been really bad about taking care of myself for a long time. I don’t give myself the proper care in terms of structure. I have rebelled against structure, but am understanding now that some structure is necessary to get things done. I was extra stressed last semester. I’m in a master’s degree program that keeps me very busy. I worked as a substitute teacher and helped my family get through some tough times. I made it through the semester and came out on top with straight A’s again, but I want to make this semester easier on myself.
I need to organize my space and keep it up. I don’t want to spend a half an hour looking for a lesson plan because my space is so disorganized. So this week I will be working to make that happen. I will also commit to keeping it up every day for 21 days. This might sound silly, but I think it’s a good first step toward a better life. It’s also a small way to showcase that my space matters and that I matter in turn.
Second, I have a weight problem. I have been fighting with my weight since I started to enter puberty (begrudgingly) in fourth grade. I have a love/hate relationship with my weight because I don’t want to be like this, but I also get resistant to conforming to societies ideas about what makes a beautiful woman. We are bombarded with images of thin, wispy women and we are constantly told that anything bigger is wrong. I disagree with this wholeheartedly. I wish for a world that embraces everyone exactly as they are. However, that wish needs to begin with me. How can I ask the world to accept me, when I don’t accept myself. I know deep down that I have to find a way to love myself. I plan to learn how to do just that this year.
I don’t want this journey to be just about weight loss. I want this journey to be a road map back to the fourth grader who knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was perfect, exactly as she was. I want to embrace my present, yet recover that perfect girl who I left behind all those years ago. If I can accomplish that, any weight loss that happens as a by-product will be gravy.
Marianne Williamson wrote a book in 2010 called A Course in Weight Loss – 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever. I have decided to work through these 21 lessons as the spiritual component to my first 21 day experiment. I will be working through the book until January 22, 2011. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
I feel like there is so much more to write, but I think this is a good start. I appreciate this opportunity to grow and learn.
Talk soon,
Mary
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